Legal expertise with the human touch is important in any divorce or separation, and even more so when one person is the victim of controlling behaviour or abuse
Discussions about divorce, separation, and child contact are never easy, but they're much more difficult when one person's confidence or independence has been damaged by abusive behaviour. This makes it harder for the victim to end the relationship or plan a life outside it.
Support through complexity
Unlike physical abuse, emotional and psychological abuse and coercive control can be hard to identify – even by the victim. The abuse or control can be subtle, but the long-term impacts can be powerful, undermining the victim's capacity to act and perhaps isolating them from sources of support.
From our own extensive experience of helping clients to exit an abusive marriage or partnership, we respect that many people in this situation require time to make the decision that they are ready to end their relationship. Common scenarios include them feeling:
- Unready or not strong enough to take action
- Unsure of their ability to cope alone, either financially or emotionally
- Fearful of a partner retaliating financially or around child contact.
In addition, gaslighting can leave the victim feeling that they – rather than the partner – are the person behaving unreasonably.
In situations like these, the support of an empathetic family lawyer can be life-changing.
What to expect
If you want to leave an abusive marriage or partnership – whether the abuse is emotional, psychological, financial, or physical – a good family lawyer will offer you sensitivity, compassion, and a willingness to move at a pace that suits you.
Rather than pushing you into immediate action, they'll provide a calm perspective and the information to help you make a decision when you're ready to do so. They'll also understand that you may want to take things slowly or that your confidence may fluctuate.
No one-size-fits-all
Just as in any divorce, separation, or relationship breakdown, there are no textbook legal solutions that work for every abuse victim or family. However, there are plenty of legal options that we can use to protect your interests and wellbeing.
This is complicated and painful territory, but we deal with it regularly – providing the respect, empathy, and expertise that is needed in these difficult situations.
Abuse can take many forms
There's a common perception that domestic abuse always means physical abuse, but that's not the case. It can also be emotional, psychological, or financial, and can take forms such as:
- Intimidating or humiliating behaviour
- Isolating someone from friends and relatives
- Removing their access to money
- Controlling their day-to-day activities
- Monitoring what they do or who they have contact with, perhaps using technology to do this
- Making them feel they're constantly walking on eggshells
- Gaslighting, with the abuser telling the victim they're imagining everything.
These and other abusive behaviours can be hard to identify and prove, but an experienced family lawyer can certainly offer support around this.
